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Caroline – My testimony
The first time Edouard told me about travelling to Japan, I said that for me, it was not an option. Too many people, lights blinking everywhere, a strange culture… It
would not be a vacation or relaxation for me, suffering from social phobia at the time.
The years passed, God freed me from my social phobia and anguish, and after several discussions, reports… my curiosity for the country was born. I reviewed my copy and told Edouard that we could finally consider this trip, if he still wanted to.
March 2014: we are together on the plane for two weeks in Japan, praying to enjoy the cherry blossoms to the full!
A wonderful journey, a more than enthusiastic discovery of this country and its people. I’m under the spell! I still don’t see myself living there, but certainly, God willing, coming back with pleasure.
On the way to Himeji, to visit the famous castle, we discover through the windows of the train the splendid Akashi bridge. We decide to make an impromptu stop there on the way back. And there, a moment of communion, grace, simple and profoundly beautiful praise, each one with God, and together with God. A true gift, pure, timeless, from our Father. At the end of this really special moment, God gives me the first name Maiko, in case we ever have a daughter…
A few months later, we decide to try to become parents. Soon, we learn of my pregnancy. I, convinced to expect a boy, do not understand why God keeps telling me: « this child’s name is Maiko », « this child’s name is Maiko »… After 4 months in which God prepared my heart, cut what had to be cut and removed everything that was not from Him so that I could rejoice fully in welcoming a little girl, we have confirmation that we are expecting a girl: she will therefore be called Maiko! And we place in God’s hands the plan to go back to Japan with her, to take her to the very place where God gave us her first name.
November 2015: God has blessed our project and responded to our heart’s desire: we are leaving for Japan, this time with three of us, as a family, to admire autumn and the blushing maple trees.
During a one-day expedition to Nikko, north of Tokyo, where we were visiting a thousand-year-old forest of old temples, God, through His Holy Spirit, touched my heart and told me: « Look at these people performing all their rituals and praying to their gods, ringing bells hoping they would hear them, while I am there, with my arms wide open, waiting for them and asking them nothing but to recognize Jesus as my Son and their Savior ». I cried, eyes full of tears, for several minutes, standing in this beautiful place, with my heart broken.
The following year, I pray to God to discern what is happening in my heart. I want to go back there, and spend several months there. Is it my flesh and blood? Is it God? I pray, and ask two of my dearest sisters in Christ to pray with me to understand what is happening in my heart. Within 48 hours, I receive an email from Youth for Christ International inviting me to be one of their English-French interpreters for their triennial general assembly to be held in September 2017 in Miami! A unique opportunity for me to meet missionaries, to live the mission « from within » and to meet their Japanese team, God willing. This trip, all expenses paid, was a true gift from God and a confirmation of my heart for the
full-time mission. A unique time apart in my personal relationship with God, where He profoundly transformed my heart and my relationship with Him, and my relationship with others. And this, just after having decided to leave my job as a trilingual executive assistant, my boss having turned out to be a bad and unhealthy person, supported by the group’s general management (I literally signed the papers of my conventional break-up the day before I left for Miami! I left free of any commitment. Incredible divine timing!).
The Monday after my return, I took my first Japanese class.
Meanwhile, Edouard himself feels no missionary call from God, and no particular call for Japan, even if he loves this country and its culture. We both agree that if it is a call from God, He will call all three of us, as a family, and that when the time comes, all three of us will be convinced, or not. Despite our prayers, Edouard has not yet heard any answer from God on this subject.
Things are all the more complex because when I returned from Miami at the end of September 2017, Edouard shared with me that he relapsed and entered a new severe depressive episode, years after being released from it. It is impossible for him to plan himself, to envisage anything of the order of a radical change of life to serve God on the other side of the world. The priority is for him to heal and to see his relationship with God grow and become stronger and stronger. The following year was a year of letting go and daily steps faith, one day at a time.
This is still the case today.
So in Miami, I met the couple leading the Japanese Youth for Christ team. He quickly asked me if I could give English lessons in the school they were planning to open in April 2018… I’m thrilled! I who had left my post in the absolute peace that God had already planned for the future, here I am before the fact that mission is at hand for us in just a few months’ time! Wow! Wow! Of course, we exchanged our contact details and kept in touch. A few months later, the director contacted me to ask us if we would accept to receive his daughter for two weeks at home: she has a gift for painting and wants to improve her English, France seems to be a good choice for her! And for us, it is an opportunity for a practical exercise with a Japanese teenager: what would everyday life look like with Japanese teenagers? We chose to welcome and love her as a family member. We really enjoyed the time spent with her, even if not everything was simple and natural, we have fond memories of her. Maiko loved her very much and did learn few japanese words so fast! We have learned a lot from each other. In the middle of her stay, her father joined her here, accompanied by two Japanese students: they came to visit France. It was an opportunity for Edouard to meet him, and for both of us to talk about mission with him. Shock for me: from this interview, from which I expected a lot, it really comes out that it will not be with them, and not immediately, that we will go on a mission. Cold shower. But we have very interesting and constructive exchanges, which lead us to two conclusions: to move forward on our journey, we want to go away two or three months as a family to discern God’s will, and to leave with a mission that includes japanese courses, because we will not be able to easily find work in Japan without speaking the language, and will never really learn the language if we do not practice it. It wasn’t what I expected, but it was already a huge step for the three of us!
That’s when I thought about contacting OM. We know a couple who serve with them in the Middle East, and who have spent the first two years of their ministry learning Arabic. I had also just met OM crew members on the Riverboat which stopped over in Strasbourg and really enjoyed serving with them and discovering the history of their mission. I talked to Edouard, who pointed out to me that he agreed, since he had offered to do it several months earlier… I had simply swept away this option without even thinking about it, convinced that they were not serving in Japan, and above all convinced that we would leave with Youth for Christ. Realizing my mistake, I sent an email to OM Japan, and contact the people I know at OM France.
Unfortunately, they only offer us two options: a two-week stay, too short for us, or a two-year minimum mission, which we are not ready for. Disappointed, but confident that this is not God’s timing for us, we continue, one step at a time, to move forward. I undertook before God to knock on all the doors that were in front of me, confident that He would open the right one when the time came, and therefore continued in obedience to explore different paths, including that of Open Doors, which recruited a profile similar to mine. Perhaps I see it as an answer to my prayers to serve God full time, but here first, waiting for the time when God will call us to Japan. So I am in a kind of « mourning » for Japan in a mid-term perspective, and I am embarking on this recruitment. As I await their return after my second interview, I receive an email from OM Japan asking for news (OM France didn’t feedback to them). I explain to them that the options available do not meet our needs. The person answers me that she will talk to the management team and come back to us. But I take it as a polite answer, nothing more. Finally, after three months of waiting, I find out that I didn’t get the job at Open Doors; they thought I would be bored. But they tell me about a second position, more interesting and challenging, to which I decide to apply as well. Again three months of process before getting the final answer: I was not selected. But I already knew it: a few days before receiving their answer, OM Japan contacted me to inform me about their brand new two-month program « Taste Japan », which could meet our expectations! What a timing! I know at that moment that God confirms to me that I must continue on this path. Edouard and I talk about it, we pray, and finally decide to choose before God that we want to go, confident once again that He will close the door if it is not the right thing, or the right time, for us to go as a family. What follows, you will read it in Edouard’s testimony……. !
